Goodbye Pride

For practically all of my life I’ve been a very ‘can do, and do on my own, I don’t need anyone’s help’ kind of person.

This can be incredibly problematic at times.

Example 1: I’m very short.  I often try to pretend like I’m not by doing things that a short person shouldn’t do.  It usually ends in injury or embarrassment.  (Or both.)

Example 2: I think I can handle far more than I can, then I overwork myself, get sick and frustrated, and turn into a not pleasant person to be around.

I like to do things on my own.  I am capable, I am independent.  Asking for help is almost as bad as my fear of spiders (arachnophobia, though I did google if there is a phobia associated with asking people for help.  There isn’t).

And then…  God messes with you.  He has this funny way of finding your ‘thing’, and prodding it until you give it away.

In March, God first suggested me taking a leap of faith, take a season to focus on worship, and raising sponsorships.

I said, ‘Absolutely not, God.  That’s lazy.’  And that was it.

Fast forward a month, in a tearful conversation with my lovely pastors Paul and Andi, where Andi says, ‘Why don’t you just take a season to focus on worship, and raise sponsorships…?’

Okay God, I hear you.

So yesterday, I held my breath as I published the post on Facebook about YEARofWORSHIP.  Some knew about it,  and were already partnering with me on the journey, which I have been so thankful for.  But, yesterday, I publicly said via social media…  I’m following God’s call, AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

And you know what’s cool?  Though it’s slightly nerve-wracking, I know God has this.  He’s asked me to do this, and I know he’ll provide.  And I know He will set aside people that believe in this call, and I won’t have to do it alone.  AND IN THE END, all the glory goes to God.

So, goodbye pride.  Here’s to following Him.

 

(PS-Check out the site, it’s pretty.)

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Why Worship?

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I’m a terrible blogger.  I’ve been silent.  But this time around, I’ve had pretty good reason.  Hooray for big changes, and even bigger leaps of faith.  Before I get into that, let me talk about worship for a second.

I used to be ‘that person’.  The person that would stand during worship, slightly judging everyone around me with their hands in the air, or God forbid, DANCING during worship.

I thought everyone who did these things was simply putting on a show.  I was raised Catholic, we sang hymns out of an old book, that was the extent of my worship.  I got to college where I studied theatre and had no revelation of worship.  I saw the hands, wanted to physically put them down for them, because I was the one sitting in the pews sobbing the whole time.  Something was missing.

Once you have revelation on WHO God is, you won’t be able to help yourself.  Do you know all of the names God goes by in the Bible?  Let me give you a small sample.

  • Jehovah Rapha – The Lord that Heals
  • Jehovah Raah – The Lord my Shepherd
  • Jehovah Jireh – The Lord Provider
  • Jehovah Shalom – The Lord of Peace
  • Jehovah Mekoddishkem – The Lord Who Sanctifies You
  • El Olam – The Everlasting God
  • El Shaddai – Lord God Almightly

If God never did another good thing in your life again, if there was ONLY the Cross, He is deserving of praise.  BUT, He continually does do good, and will…  Now seriously, how could you help yourself?

The word “worship” comes from “worth-ship”, or to put worth on something.  I think it’s interesting, that in both the original Greek and Hebrew meanings of the word we use as ‘worship’, it actually has nothing to do with music.   The word they use actually translates closer to bowing down.  In bowing down to God, we are submitting to his authority, and being obedient.

What I love about this, is that everything we do is an opportunity to worship.  The way we live, the way we serve, the way we give, the way we love, is all worship.
I can barely articulate my heart for worship because I try, then my heart wants to explode, then I’m left speechless because it’s so good.  It’s so so good.  Why?  Because it has absolutely nothing to do with us, and absolutely everything to do with the King of kings, and the Lord of lords, and the Alpha and Omega, and the Creator of the Universe, and the lover of your soul…
So, why the silence?
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Very long story short, I am taking a year to volunteer my time + energy + heart to fill a gap that our church currently doesn’t have the resource for.  I will be working with our staff to help run our worship team, whatever that may look like at the time.  I am working on raising sponsorships to be able to do this, so feel free to check out the site for a little more information.  It is a work in progress at the moment, but we’re getting there.  Please keep in mind, I am NOT asking you (as a reader) for money.  If you really feel like you want to support this, amazing.  What I’m asking for is prayer for the year itself, and an abundance of vision, growth, and right placement for what God wants us to be doing.
I am so excited for what’s to come, and the crazy stories we’ll be able to tell. 😉  Leaps of faith + obedience usually set up some pretty awesome scenarios.